There's a statement that I can't
emphasize enough when it comes to writing your sales message:
Don't write about what YOU
do or offer ... talk about what your customers RECEIVE.
It may seem like the two are one
and the same. But let me assure you they are not! Allow me
to show you what I mean by the following example I lifted
from a website. I've highlighted the phrases that illustrate
my point. Please read the entire paragraph.
We have developed a network
that can help you succeed. We are a company dedicated to serving our customers. Our
company policy states that we
will do everything in our
power to help you achieve your goals. We
want to be on your favorites list, so come back frequently. We've got all the answers
to all your questions right here. We're
always posting new material. You'll never grow tired
of our web site. Our
business is helping your business better itself. We have the expertise to
ensure increased profits for you and your business. Just
click on a link to find out more. Take a look around - you're
sure to find what you want.
Yes, you can read this and get an idea of what
the site is about. But isn't your gut response ... "Says
who?" or "Prove it!"? And wouldn't it be more
effective ... and appealing ... and sales-producing if the copy spoke to you personally and pointed out how you
would benefit from using their services? Following is
how I might rewrite the copy:
You have questions -- we have answers!
If you're like most people, your goal is to succeed. You're
searching for ways to increase your profits and expand your
business. When you use our network [of websites], you are
moving one step closer to achieving those goals. Each site
has been researched by our team of experts so you can be
assured you'll receive the help you need. Click on a link!
You're sure to find exactly what you're looking for. We
add new websites regularly, so check back often.
Please understand that this rewrite is merely
to illustrate how a message can be 'personalized' for the
reader. Instead of talking about what the company does,
I'm telling prospective customers what they will receive.
If this company were my client, I would go even farther and
explain how potential customers can increase profits,
expand their business, and achieve their goals.
I know it's hard to get away from talking about
youself or your company. It's much easier to tell people what
you offer. To your thinking (because you're so familiar with
what you do), it should be perfectly clear to potential clients
how they will benefit by doing business with you. But this
is assuming way too much. You must 'become your customer'
if you want to write sales-generating copy.
Nan Yielding has nearly 10 years experience as an online business owner. She is the owner of Writing-Etc.com and offers internet marketing services and assistance to help website owners attract more customers and increase sales.
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